Ang hectic talaga ng mundo. Bakit kaya? Ang daming ginagawa. Ang daming requirements. Marami pang sumasabay. Ang dami ko nang iniisip. Baka mag-shut down na yung utak ko nito. Bakit ayaw makiasama sa akin ng mundo? Ngayong bingyan ako ng pagkakataong gumawa ng paper (Salamat, Kia...), ayaw gumana ng utak ko. Nakakairita naman. Hectic lahat, alam ko. Kanya-kanya muna. Kanya-kanyang requirements na dapat tapusin. Meeting dito, meeting diyan. Deadline dito, Group study pa sa tabi. Papers, projects, practice. Ang lupit. Sana ma-balance ko naman. May plan of action na ko. Eto na lang ang tanging paraan na naiisip ko. Huwag matulog ng literal. Kaya ko naman yun ng isang linggo eh. Sakit lang nga nag uwi ko pagkatapos. Kaya yan. Alam ko kagagaling ko lang sa sakit, pero, this time, pagdating ng Friday, uunahan ko na. Iinom nako ng Biogesic bago pa man ako bisitahin nito. Kaya yan. Konting Psychology lang nag kailangan. Ayaw ko na. 18 days of hell pa. 18 or 17. Ewan. Tama na. Sana matapos na to. As lahat. Grabehan. Ngarag nako. Sige, paper na nga.
I found the lyrics!!!
Ate Chinks!!! May bago na ko, after "Confessions"! =)
I know I'm kinda strange, to you sometimes
Don't always say, what's on my mind
You know that I've been hurt, by some guy
But I don't wanna mess up this time
[BRIDGE]
And I really really really care
And I really really really want you
And I think I'm kinda scared
Cos I don't want to lose you
If you really really really care
Then maybe you can hang through
I hope you understand
It's nothing to you
[CHORUS]
My heart's at a low I'm so much to manage
I think you should know that
I've been damaged
I'm falling in love
There's one disadvantage
I think you should know that
I've been damaged
I might look through your stuff, for what I don't wanna find
Or I might just set you up, to see if you're all mine
I'm a little paranoid, from what I've been through
Don't know what you got yourself into
And I really really really care (And I care about you so much)
And I really really really want you (I really do want you)
And I think I'm kinda scared (But I'm scared with every touch)
Cos I don't want to lose you (Cos I don't want to lose you)
If you really really really care (If you care for me like you say)
Then maybe you can hang through (Then maybe you can hang through)
I hope you understand (I hope you understand)
It's nothing to you (It's nothing to you, you)
[CHORUS]
Have you ever felt so lost in your world? One minute, you know everything about it and everything's fine, then the next, you're completely lost. Why is it that things sometimes get out hand? No matter how you control it, it just escalates. What do you do when your world is thrown into complete chaos. What if one day, you wake up and everything's just not the same? How do you deal with it. How do even know who to talk to? Things happening all around you and you just cannot keep up. You stand there, not moving, for you have no idea what to do. Things happen around you and you just keep still. You do nothing but then you're the one who looks bad. What do you do when you get blamed for something that you didn't even do? You get so frustrated because you have no idea and the harder you try to get some answers or the harder you try to clear things up, the more confusing it gets. You have nothing but speculations. People would then advise you not to think of it anymore. So, what do you do? Do you remain still and just let your image be soiled upon? Do you let them continue thinking what they want when it's wrong? You try to get on with your life but you can't help the fact that your world remains in chaos and that people continue on misinterpreting you. Do you just let all these happen? It gets you so frustrated when you had nothing to do about it and suddenly your right smack in the middle of things. You have no solid and concrete knowledge in your hand for they try to confuse you even more. So, now, you don't really know what your role in this stupid problem is. Maybe, you weren't involved in the first place and now you are and you had nothing to do with it. Or maybe you were, you were just dense or denying that fact. Or maybe, you weren't really a part of it and now you look so stupid. But then all you have are maybe's. So, you try do what you think is practical-you ignore it, since you have no idea if your involved anyway. So, why dwell on it? It's a waste of time. But why do you feel that you are? You can't help the fact that now, things would never be the same again. It's such a confusing situation to be in. So, forget it. But something pulls you back into that black hole that you have no idea if you even belong there. Don't you just wish you can shut down your entire world even for just a short while?
***!!!***
Fun. My days of fun are technically gone. The main reason why I asked Kia to go out last friday was because by today, I'm hectic. All the way to finals week. My sunny days are over. Up until finals week, these are what I have to do:
So, what am I doing now? I am supposed to be typing my Acting paper right now. But I just have to rant. I know you guys have a lot to do too, but I just have to rant. Sem break, where are you??? ***Help me??***
Sept 15: Shout-out to Nicolo for helping me figure out a place! Also, to Aligs! This was so G-R-E-A-T! Santa came in early for me and made some of my greatest wishes come true! Don't mind if YOU* wanna drop in again! I love life!
But all good things must come to an end as Sept 16 dawned on me... There it was, the inevitable, theology was bound to come and I can't do anything to stop it...Haay...
So did Sci 10, the very next day. Yesterday, I failed Sci 10...AGAIN. I didn't understand half of that test that just seems to get harder and harder by the minute. Haay...
Good things: The first ever caroling practice was relatively good. We can do this peeps! We shall help each one out! Oh, and it was really so nice that Ate Millette came!!! We misssssss you po!!! Plus!!! Kia and I went out! Last night was great! We watched the Terminal and up until now, Kia's still probably deciding if she liked it or not... We also had coffee at our favorite coffee place: Coffee Bean! I love this place! Not to mention the people** (cough cough) we saw there!! Haha! This night turned my awfully bad day into something great! Although, we did MISS our other one-third there! *wink wink*
***UNREASONABLE AKO***
Free-cut ang acting class ko kanina. Laking weight nawala-3 hours! =) Happy day! Kanina, while waiting for a friend, I decided to fix my sched, hectic na pala. 2 papers by this week (I just finished both!!!!!), a long test by the end of the week, another quiz there, next week, papers again, tests again. I don't know why, but I didn't feel any panic. I should, right? Well, at least, tapos ko na yung papers for this week. My day is practically good. Ang saya. Rare moments of happiness! I just hope that tomorrow would be way better! Hope lang! =)
Yun lang! I shall start another paper! Due for next, next week! Oh, no! Am I turning into a geek???
Hindi noh! Inspired lang! =) Ang weird ko na! Ang saya!
May sakit po ako nung Friday. Bigla-bigla na lang. Out of the blue, pagka-gising ko, 'ni hindi ko na magawang pumunta sa CR ko. Sa mga taong nakapunta na sa dorm ko, yes, ang lapit lang nun sa kama ko. Pinag-pilitan kong wala akong sakit at nag-cold shower pa. Sinong may pagka-tanga? Anyway, after the shower, collapse. Hindi na ako nakapasok till History. Sci 10 na lamang at area. But no, tulog ako sa sci 10 dahil sa Tempra at ayaw akong papasukin sa bus nina Aligs at Kuya Mike. Ayaw din ni Elyoo. Umuwi na daw ako. So, I did. Natulog at nagpasundo kay Kuya ng early Saturday morning. Come Saturday, Kulang na lang, kargahin na ko ni Kuya palabas ng Sunrise. Pagdating sa bahay, super ngarag. Buong Saturday inalagaan ng aking mahal na ina at pinakamamahal na Kuya. Astig. 39 going 40 na pala yung temperature ko nung Saturday. After 3 weird drugs-I'm back on my feet! Galing ni Kuya! =) Salamat po sa mga concerned na bumisita, naghatid at nagtext. I'm tats!!! Kilala nyo na kung sino kayo. Mwah!!!!
I just had the BEST weekend ever!!! I got to spend some time with the Angels and Mike early that Saturday afternoon... It was so much fun, huniez!!! Eating, watching a movie together and just hangin' out! Too bad it was a bit short... Nevertheless, I felt so happy! MWAH!!
Next stop: My highschool barakada... After my wonderful afternoon with my two Angels and Mike, I went straight to Mega Mall and met my barakda for Monica and Nelly's birthday celebration. We ate, hung-out, then...Biglaang overnight! Grabe! Ang daming revelations and all that...I can't believe ang dami na naming di alam sa isa't-isa. So, people told what was going on with their lives, some were funny, some were tear-jerking and yet some were just plain shocking. I had so much fun and I really missed you guys a lot! We should find time and do this again...soon! I love you guys and I'm always here for you!
People!!! Thank you for soming to my scene showcase! I really appreciate it!!! Thanks to those who came!!! Namely, Joycie, Kia, Elyoo, Aligs and Kuya Jay!!! Thankies!!! Next, whole prod na...watch it!!!
My day today was typically lighter than the previous ones except for some little bumps throughout the day.
THE GOOD THINGS: ***MAGNET***
THE BAD THINGS:
I got to school by 730 am, I needed to type my theo HW. I was done before 830, so then I went to the ACIL room while waiting for my 9 am class. Yun na yun. When the clock strikes at 9, dire-diretso na ko. 9-1030: SA 21; 1030-12: practice (natapos siya ng past 12); past 12-130: some rest time and lunch; 130-3: Theo; 3-430: my only break na wala talagang gagawin; 430-730: Acting I. Whew! Grabe! What a day! Although, I must say acting class was really fun today! Ang saya-saya! It was so funny! My tummy was literally hurting because of the funny things that happened in class! And guess what?! This was our lesson for today! Something about actor and co-actor stuff... Basta, it was so funny!!!
Question: What do you do when you accidentally deleted a VERY important text message?? As in, yung tipong nakakahiya na pag pina-send mo ulit?? =,( KAINIIIIIISSS!!!! Ang careless!!! *sigh!*
People!!! It's my second long test for my acting class...
miggy. michee*. michellette. different names, different facades. one whole complicated individual underneath the blanket of stars hoping that one day i could hold one.
:: Michelle Loves ::the stars. the wide sky. love itself. the journey. and maybe the destination.
:: Random Thoughts ::chocolates. sweets. hugs. kisses. smiles. laughter. tears. painful knowledge. truth. honesty. cookies. love. alone. friends.
:: Stars falling, An angel hoping ::staring at the wide sky. walking underneath the stars. enduring the journey -- loving it, hating it, not sure of the destination. i continue to walk, covering ground while the stars fall, and i continue to hope...