I got fed up. Finally, I erupted. Sumabog na ako. Physically and emotionally. Hindi ko na talaga kinaya. The trigger was so petty kaya I looked so unreasonable. But no. I was fed up. Hindi ko na talaga nagawang i-contain. I was just so pissed and fed up.
I'm so sorry sa mga nadamay ko. Sorry talaga. Napuno na siguro talaga ako. I'm sorry, hindi ko sinasadya. Sorry talaga.
I need someone to talk to... Sana lang... I went on line today hoping that a good friend of mine will be on line too... So maybe, God wants me to be an introvert today. How awful. I feel down. I just feel down. I really feel down. Lintik ang kulit. Hay. Why am I like this. Yes, napakagandang tanong. At hindi ko sya masagot. Minsan naiisip ko, sobra na ang kaweirdohan ko. Dahil siguro limitado ang mundo. Bawal to, bawal yan. Leche, sino bang nag-imbento ng mga bawal? Oo na. sige na. ang labo ko na naman. Di ko lang talag kasi maintindihan ang sarili kong kalabuan. Bwiset. Ayoko na. Hay.
May i just rant and let these thoughts flow out of my system.
Hay. i've basically transformed into an emotional little girl. Every high school friend of mine keeps giving me faces like 'you?-bato-ka-diba' looks. hey. so, i admit, cry babay naman ako eh pero being emotional, i guess, isn't a simple as being a cry baby. kasi pag cry baby, medyo mababaw, pag emotional, medyo iba ang gravity sa iyo.
Di lang yan, OA pa ang mood swings ko. Labo. Minsan iritating. Lalo na siguro sa napagbalingan. Kawawa. Hey, I do know when to say I'm sorry and admit my mistakes and blah blah blah. Pero, di naman siguro forever na lang ako magsosorry right after a (most of the time) really unreasonable mood swing. Kung may alam kayong cure, jeez, I'm all ears.
Teka, sakit nga ba ito?
Kasalanan ko bang minsan trip ko maghanap ng atensyon? eh, minsan feeling taken forgranted. Labo. Anybody naman siguro at one point feels this way. sana lang. kasi kung hindi, ibig sabihin may sakit na ko... cure, anyone???
Minsan feeling mo ang manhid ng tao sa paligid mo. After mo gawan ng issue dahil sa frustration, after ng peak ng iyong moment, takte. Ayun. Unreasonable ka pala. Bigla-bigla na lang nagtatampo. So, instead na ikaw ang nasuyo, ikaw pa ngayon. pero ok lang. kasalanan mo naman eh.
ang hindi ko lang maintindihan at sinusubukan kog intindihin eh kung bakit mrami akong ganitong pagkakataon. kay psych majors, kung gusto nyo ng thesis, i'm volunteering my weirdness. Kia? Anyone? Kia, ako na lang, project mo.
Hay. di ko lam kung anong gagawin ko. but oh well. what a day! Labo. as usual. Hay.
Last Saturday, pagkatapos ng board meeting sa Ateneo, nakatanggap ako ng tawag sa aking cell phone... Si KUYA... Yes, my darling kuya... gusto daw niya kong i-meet that very moment. So, nag meet kami sa admin kasama si Kia at Bea... Irita pa nga ko nun kasi kala ko sinusundo na ko... Hehe... Ang sama ko tuloy... Pag park niya sa aming harapan, binaba niya ang bintana at...
BINIGYAN AKO NG REGALO!!! ISANG BRACELET NA TALAGANG NA-IN LOVE AKO!!!
Kaya, KUYA!!! SHALAMAT!!!! AHLABSHU!!!
eto pa, pinakita niya ang kaniyang mother's day gift sa aking ina at, relo ito... (hay! mga may trabaho nga naman...) Oh no, so naisip ko, patay nako... Wala akong pera, ibig sabihin wala akong regalo... *Isip isip* Umuwi na ko at lahat wala pa rin...
AH! (dumating na rin ang light bulb moment ko) Surprise breakfast! Sobrang unexpected yun kasi 430 am siya gumigising, at ako hehe... 10 am pa... At isa pa, mushy si nanay kaya... mas sweet ito! (Teeheehee) So, alarm ng 330, prepare...
Nilagay ko sa breakfast table sa labas ng kaniyang bedroom door with my vey own hand-made card...
So, pag gising ko... HUG ang sumalubong sa kin at thank you daw... Hay...
Pagkatapos ng lunch, umalis kami at nag-mall... si kuya ay pinapipili ako ng relo at earrings habang namimilipit ang tiyan ko dahil acidic na naman ako. Bwiset. Pero, ok lang...Ang extra pampered ko kay kuya ngayon, ewan ko kung bakit... basta, THANK YOU. I appreciate it sobra.
Pagkatapos, eto, kinakabahan ako mag paalam kasi pupunta na naman ako sa galera... hehe...
so, eto na... "Mama, pwede ba kong pumunta ng galera? overnight lang... blahblahblah..." Lahat na ng info sinabi ko sa isang hininga.. Tinitigan ako... (hay. grabe lang ang kaba ko)"Overnight lang ah.. Sige. Kelan ba yan?"
HAY! kaya ang saya ng mundo!!!!
well, mundo ko, at least...
I have absolutely no idea on what to do...
What would you do when you're the one who's always in trouble and down?
When you're the friend who was always depressed because nothing seems to go right?
You turn to your close friend...
That friend has been comforting you, guiding you, giving you a shoulder to cry on, giving you time, listening to you, giving you words of wisdom, advise and assuring you that everything will soon be good...
And that happens for you...
You've found happiness, your storms have come to an end...
You still got the occassional rain showers but then, the long storm's finally over, so those rain showers you can take.
You're okay... Your life's going good or great...
Still that friend is with you. still listening to you. One great friend--always the shoulder to cry on, the person you can lean on, who's always got your back.
Now, the tables have turned.
That friend has entered the storm in need of everything that you received when you were in the storm.
But you have no idea how.
I HAVE NO IDEA HOW but I WILL.
Just like how you've helped me and stayed by my side.
I WILL.
miggy. michee*. michellette. different names, different facades. one whole complicated individual underneath the blanket of stars hoping that one day i could hold one.
:: Michelle Loves ::the stars. the wide sky. love itself. the journey. and maybe the destination.
:: Random Thoughts ::chocolates. sweets. hugs. kisses. smiles. laughter. tears. painful knowledge. truth. honesty. cookies. love. alone. friends.
:: Stars falling, An angel hoping ::staring at the wide sky. walking underneath the stars. enduring the journey -- loving it, hating it, not sure of the destination. i continue to walk, covering ground while the stars fall, and i continue to hope...